I Confess
by violet.warrior
Summary: What really happened between Harry and Hermione? No hard evidence has ever been found of a morethanfriends relationship between the two. Until a girl stumbled upon an old, wornout journal, titled I Confess.
1. December 1995

_December 1995_

A/N: This is just something I'm writing for my friend Joyeause, for Christmas, seeing as how she's a huge H/HR shipper (or Harmony, as she calls it). Seeing as how the first book describing the Trio's first year in Hogwarts was written in 1990, it follows that the fifth book (fifth year) must take place in 1995. Therefore, I have started to write from the fifth book. ONLY THE FIRST THROUGH FOURTH BOOKS HAVE HAPPENED ACCORDING TO THIS STORY. CEDRIC IS STILL DEAD. SIRIUS IS NOT.

Disclaimer: The story's mine; it was inspired by a picture I found online (I have no clue who the artist is, seeing as how it was written in some language I don't know). The characters are darling JKR's, who I still believe is a fantastic writer despite the bullshit everybody's firing off about her in the fanfiction world these days. Don't sue if you believe JKR sucks; you're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine. Don't sue if you hate H/HR; I don't exactly support it, but it's the only pairing I can think of for those two. So yeah. Enjoy.

_What really happened between Harry and Hermione? Why is Hermione shown out to be more often with Harry than Ron, and yet she is shown to be with Ron in the end? People have speculated that perhaps this frank relationship was more than it seemed._

_Yet no hard proof was ever found…_

_Until a girl stumbled upon an old, worn-out book, hidden beneath a loose floorboard in the Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory, titled_

I Confess

**December 25, 1995**

Why in the WORLD did Mother give me this? I have no use for it, and it will only take up time that could be spent on studying or finding out how to stop Voldemort. The title is absolutely ridiculous as well. "I Confess" my arse; does Mother suppose I have secrets I don't tell her? Okay, yes I do, but does she really think that I'll spill my secrets out onto these dead pages? I love reading, not writing. I only write essays for school.

And yet, I don't want to hurt Mother's feelings, so I suppose I'll try it out. Besides, perhaps it'll help to write things down in here. It never hurts to remember things (or yes it does, but it helps to remember anyway), and I don't really have a girl best friend to tell everything to, seeing as how my two best friends are Ron and Harry (and they are certainly not about to listen to my complaints about my monthly cramping).

Whatever.

I've got to run. I only took the time to write this bit because Lavender was taking so long in the bathroom.

**Later**

I can't believe this. Harry just KISSED me.

Okay let me start from the beginning so I can try and make sense of this whole muddled mess:

The Hogwarts All-House Christmas Dance was tonight. As always, Ron, Harry, and I went as a group. Ron immediately scurried off to meet up with Pansy, leaving Harry and me alone. Everybody there was with someone else, as in: everybody there was there as a couple. Of course, that didn't make it awkward AT ALL for Harry and me (note the sarcasm).

But Harry, being who he was, shrugged it off and shouted over the music, "C'mon, 'Mione, let's dance!" We had a great time—until the spiked punch began taking effect. All of a sudden, my head was feeling woozy and I had to go outside. Harry, playing the role of sweet caring friend now that Ron was gone, helped me sit down on a bench in the garden. Unfortunately, we were not alone, as the noises made clear.

"Look—mistletoe." Harry pointed above my head with a strange expression on my face, and I blushed. I knew what mistletoe's used for, and I couldn't imagine what other meaning he had. I remember thinking, _No, he wouldn't. We're just friends, that's all._ But then again, who am I to deny that I've entertained thoughts of kissing him, despite our friendship, since I was thirteen? I mean, anybody with eyes could see that Harry Potter was quite a catch.

That isn't all I like about him, of course—I'm not that shallow. Once you get to know him, he's sweet, witty, shy with girls (except me, because I'm his best friend), talented, and a lot of fun.

Anyway.

Harry started leaning in, like he was about to kiss me, and I must say my heart beat a little faster. It isn't every day a chap like him comes on as if he was about to kiss me.

"Watch out for nargles." Much as I love Luna, I have to say that she didn't come in at the most opportune moment. I didn't say anything in reply, hoping against hope that she would go away—and for once, she did. But that magical feeling was lost, and I felt slightly awkward after what had just happened. I didn't want to make the first move to end things, simply because I didn't want things to end—but I knew it couldn't go on.

So I cleared my throat, and started to say, "Harry—" when suddenly he swooped down and kissed me. From such a beginning, I would've expected something harsher, something more passionate, but he was a soft and gentle kisser.

O, what am I saying? I'm talking about my best friend! But still… he WAS an amazing kisser. And I DO wish Ron hadn't stumbled upon us, all drunk. I suppose it was the spiked punch that made Harry act this way—he probably doesn't really like me.

Well, after that, Harry and I carried Ron back to the dormitories, said good night, and that was it. I waited a little bit in the boys' doorway, but he didn't look at me and so I left. It is now almost dawn, after a sleepless night, and, after tossing and turning the rest of the night, I finally decided to write this out—just to get some peace.

Perhaps Mother was on to something. It really did feel better, getting all that out.

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A/N: Okay, please review about how I did for my first Harmony attempt!! Thanks to all reviewers, supporters, and even critics!! But as for critics… please point out WHY you didn't like it, not just if it was because you don't support Harmony. Thank you!!


	2. January 1996

_January 1996_

A/N: This takes place in the year that the Trio is supposed to be in fifth year. ONLY THE FIRST THROUGH FOURTH BOOKS HAVE HAPPENED ACCORDING TO THIS STORY. CEDRIC IS STILL DEAD. SIRIUS IS NOT.

Disclaimer: The story's mine; it was inspired by a picture I found online (I have no clue who the artist is, seeing as how it was written in some language I don't know). The characters are darling JKR's, who I still believe is a fantastic writer despite the bullshit everybody's firing off about her in the fanfiction world these days. Don't sue if you believe JKR sucks; you're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine. Don't sue if you hate H/HR; I don't exactly support it, but it's the only pairing I can think of for those two. So yeah.

**January 15, 1996**

I think there's something wrong with me. I keep daydreaming about Harry's kiss. Today, I blanked out during Potions! I have NEVER done that before; it's horrifying. Thankfully, I didn't miss much, but that little incident has brought to my attention how serious this problem has become. If I don't confront Harry and get it all over with, I'll never rest properly again!

**January 19, 1996**

I didn't think I would ever get the chance to talk to Harry alone, or at least, if I did, I didn't think I would ever get my nerve up enough to talk to him about what happened at Christmas. But I did it! I found a space between Potions and Transfiguration, when Ron went to the loo. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Harry, I think we need to talk.

Harry: We talk all the time.

Me: No, I mean we need to talk alone.

Harry: Okay, we're alone now.

Me: Okay.

Harry: Okay.

Me: I wanted to talk about Christmas.

Harry: (getting flustered) O.

Me: O.

Harry: What about Christmas?

Me: You know, what happened under the mistletoe…

Harry: O. That.

Me: Yes, that. Why did you suddenly—you know…?

Harry: What do you mean?

Me: We're best friends, Harry. We've been best friends since you and Ron saved me from that troll in first year. Why now?

Harry: Why not now?

Me: I don't know. I guess I just wondered why you didn't do anything earlier.

Harry: Did you want me to?

Me: I don't know.

Harry: Well, you know I'm bad with girls—except you.

Me: Exactly. Except me.

Harry: So I wondered about our relationship a little.

Me: O.

Harry: And I guess I had a little too much of that punch, so I thought, Why not Christmas? The mistletoe was the perfect excuse.

Me: O.

Harry: O.

And then Ron came back. So I suppose I'll have to talk to him again. Merlin, how embarrassing it was! And to think I'll have to go through it all AGAIN!! Why couldn't Ron have stayed in the loo just a bit longer?

O Merlin this is so embarrassing…

**January 29, 1996**

I finally got another chance to talk to Harry again, when we were walking to breakfast and Ron hadn't woken up yet.

Me: Harry.

Harry: Hermione.

Me: I think we need to talk again.

Harry: About what?

Me: The same thing as before.

Harry: O.

Me: O.

Harry: You want to start?

Me: Not particularly.

Harry: I suppose I will, then.

Me: Okay.

Harry: Okay. So like I said, I kind of wondered about our relationship. I know there's Krum, but I just wanted to try it out. And Christmas was as good a time as any, more so, considering the mistletoe that was hung everywhere.

Me: Yes, you mentioned the mistletoe as an excuse.

Harry: Yeah. And I suppose I had a bit too much to drink, and I was nervous, so I came on a bit sudden.

Me: I was rather surprised. I wondered what you were getting up to at first.

Harry: You did?

Me: Yeah.

Harry: O.

Me: O.

Harry: So…

Me: Viktor's just my friend, Harry.

Harry: O.

Me: There's nobody else.

Harry: O.

Me: O.

And then we got to the Great Hall.

This is abominably frustrating! I'll have to find yet ANOTHER time to talk to him AGAIN! Why does this subject have to stretch for so long and yet be so touchy? So infuriating!


End file.
